This evening as I am driving home from class, I started thinking about the class events and conversations. If you've been keeping up with my posts you know I like a guy and he doesn't know it. If he does know it, he hasn't said anything or made any comment to his knowledge. Well, this guy is in my college classes; we are going for the same major and enrolled at the same time so we've been through the entire program together.
Tonight we were talking about relationships and he mentioned he was talking to a girl 2 counties away. My heart sank...again. I got to thinking about this and decided I needed to figure out what was in my head, my heart and process; so I drove past my house. My radio was on and it was playing Thomas Rhett "Marry Me". I personally don't care for the song but feel like that is my feelings for this guy so I listened, and drove, and processed.
Amidst all of this the thought came to my mind, he has many girls, but it's just as many physical girls as you have had imaginary guys.....
I have a problem of putting myself to sleep thinking about the perfect relationship, or a story I made up in my mind, or a good looking actor. These guys, or men, don't exist for who I make them to be...it's just that, I made them what I wanted them to be. It's not reality. It's not real.
So I have come to the conclusion, that I can't get upset at this guy in class for having another girl, when I "have another guy". No, mine isn't a physical human being. But the emotional attachment in my mind is still relevant.
Monday, September 24, 2018
Sunday, September 23, 2018
Waiting
Your in my head
Please go away.
I like you too much
I have to say.
You are my dream
You are the guy.
Who has may heart
Even when I try,
To forget the bad
And see only good,
My mind reminds me
Of what I should.
See who you are
See the real you
It's not who I need
It is what I choose
The qualities I like
Are quite the kind
That makes me look away
That makes me change my mind
Time and time again
I fall for your smile
Every time I do
I go the next mile
Waiting for you to change
Waiting for the time
That you will be the one
That I can call mine
Please go away.
I like you too much
I have to say.
You are my dream
You are the guy.
Who has may heart
Even when I try,
To forget the bad
And see only good,
My mind reminds me
Of what I should.
See who you are
See the real you
It's not who I need
It is what I choose
The qualities I like
Are quite the kind
That makes me look away
That makes me change my mind
Time and time again
I fall for your smile
Every time I do
I go the next mile
Waiting for you to change
Waiting for the time
That you will be the one
That I can call mine
Tuesday, September 18, 2018
Not-So My Guy
I am not a writer by no means! But if inspired, if the words come easy I can write. These days my head is in a whirlwind and I can hardly tell what is up or down. You he the benefit of It! Poems from the heart.
Not-So My Guy
Your in my head
Please go away.
I like you too much
I have to say.
You are my dream
You are the guy.
Who has may heart
Even when I try,
To forget the bad
And see only good,
My mind reminds me
Of what I should.
See who you are
See the real you
It's not who I need
It is what I choose
The qualities I like
Are quite the kind
That makes me look away
That makes me change my mind
Time and time again
I fall for your smile
Every time I do
I go the next mile
Waiting for you to change
Waiting for the time
That you will be the one
That I can call mine
Not-So My Guy
Your in my head
Please go away.
I like you too much
I have to say.
You are my dream
You are the guy.
Who has may heart
Even when I try,
To forget the bad
And see only good,
My mind reminds me
Of what I should.
See who you are
See the real you
It's not who I need
It is what I choose
The qualities I like
Are quite the kind
That makes me look away
That makes me change my mind
Time and time again
I fall for your smile
Every time I do
I go the next mile
Waiting for you to change
Waiting for the time
That you will be the one
That I can call mine
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